Ok, folks. Here it is: Another week of film reviews, just for you, and anyone else you tell about them! BE ON THE FRIGGIN' LOOKOUT FOR SPOILERS - I don't care if you haven't seen the movies, I assure you.
Remember, here's how I grade my films:
A =
Excellent, a must see
B = Very
good, I’d watch it again
C = Worth
Seeing
D = Maybe
don’t bother
F =
Worthless
+ = Superior
for this grade
- = Just barely
makes it into this grade
Also, as usual, my grade on Facebook might not line up with my posts here. You should assume that, because they've been posted later, these grades are what I'd probably stand by.
So, we finally come to the main event of this year's MMMMM. After all the hype, I watched five Asian horror movies in a row. I won't get into some crazy analysis of Asian film culture (impossible to do, when 80% of the control group was from a single country), but I would say that there were definitely a few common themes to the films - not the least of which was their willingness to focus on ideas and narratives that would never play in Hollywood. Two of these films, Thirst and Audition, are among the best I watched this year (barring those of next week, but I'm skeptical about any of those making the B+ or better grade).
Let's get to it!
The New York Ripper (Lucio Fulci) - D+
A murderer
stalks women in New York City (and one old man). Lt. Williams, a grizzled cop
that has seen it all is investigating, and things take a puzzling turn when the
killer begins to call him, taunting him with a Donald Duck voice. Victim after
victim meets a grizzly end at the killer's blade, including Williams' secret
prostitute. Eventually, the suspect is found dead, but the murders continue.
But only for about 15 minutes, when the right man is shot through the face. New
York can rest easy once more.
A very late
entry in the Giallo craze that gripped Italian horror in the 70s, the New York
Ripper isn't anything spectacular. Typical to Fulci, the gore is
sensationalized (Fulci fans can expect someone's eye to get massacred on camera
- the director's well-known calling card). There are some titillating moments,
as well as a completely unnecessary scene in which a woman allows a Hispanic
man to give her a foot job under a table, so, you know, there's stuff to like.
The photography is excellent, featuring helicopter shots, dazzling city scapes
and other things you'd expect to see.
But it's
just not all that interesting. The police investigation is plodding, even if
the Lt. and his psychologist are two of the more watchable characters. You, as
the viewer, never quite buy the suspect as the killer, so finding out he's not
is somewhat lackluster. If I can be honest with you good people, over all the
other Fulci options, I picked this one for the absurdity of the Donald Duck
voice. It suffered diminishing returns, as it is used throughout the movie. By
the time Foot Job leaves the story, my interest barely could be maintained.
Fulci tries a couple things to keep you off balance on the true killer's
identity, but there are only so many characters in the cast. You'll figure it
out early too.
House
(Nobuhiko Obayashi) - C+
After the
disastrous news that her father is going to remarry, Angel and six of her
friends (Fantasy, Sweetie, Prof, Kung-Fu, Melody and Mac) visit her Auntie's
remote mansion in the countryside. They are curiously joined by Snowy, Angel's
white, longhaired cat. Upon arrival, Mac goes missing, and soon after Angel
hysterically claims Mac's severed head has attacked her. From that point on,
one by one, the girls are eaten by Auntie's house. They do manage to organize
something of a defense when only a few remain, but it's too little too late.
Angel's Auntie is a lonely spirit that devours young women to retain her youth,
so that she can wait for her lost love to return from World War II. Ultimately,
the girls are no match for the house, and Auntie won't be lonely anymore.
If I had to
use one word to describe House, it would be strange. And I think I needed it to
be. Written by Chigumi Obayashi, the director’s pre-teen daughter, House has
the feel of a child's nightmare. The camera and music are often very soft and
pleasant (except when someone is dying), and the characters attempt to maintain
a chipper attitude despite the horrors befalling them.
But it's
really all over the place. You understand very quickly that this won’t be your
usual narrative-driven film, but House will endlessly remind you of this.
Countless photography tricks are used throughout the film, and the special
effects range from subtle to obscene to silly. It’s almost dizzying. Even the
more horrific moments - such as Mac's head flying out of a well, barfing blood
and biting Angel's bum, or Melody being eaten by the piano - are injected with
levity. Stop motion animation, soft dissolves, a projectile vomiting cat
portrait, I could go on and on about what is in the movie. It is surreal, it is
campy, and it makes very little sense. It also moves very quickly, not giving
you a lot of time to absorb the last ridiculous imagery you witnessed. Surely
this is the perfect film to cleanse the pallet for more Asian cinema.
A man and a
woman hit a man with their car. Immediately following, the man begins to
exhibit iron protruding from his skin, after he has vivid nightmares about the
person he hit. The man is then attacked by a woman with iron parts that appears
hell-bent on killing him. He manages to slay her before she can do him in, but
in the process, his iron infection worsens. The man's girlfriend tries to
comfort him, but she becomes frightened when even more iron bursts from within.
She tries to kill him, but he gets her first with his massive, new drill penis.
It turns out the victim of the Man's hit and run lived, and has also been
cursed with iron. He returns for revenge and the two battle, though in the end,
they decide to join forces and envelop the world in iron.
It's
different, that's for sure. Tetsuo does a lot with seemingly very little,
providing sinister-looking gore and twisted special effects on a budget.
There's not a lot given to the viewer in terms of plot or exposition, though.
The nature of the iron curse (if that's really what it is) is never really
revealed. Clocking in at just over an hour long, Tetsuo moves very quickly, and
transition from plot point to plot point happens at a rapid fire pace. Gaps in
the story also seem prevalent (how did the Man get home when the woman monster
was chasing him?), and lack of dialogue sometimes makes you feel like you're
watching an extremely long music video.
I found the
first third of the film - the man being chased by the woman with the Iron claw
- to be extremely effective as a piece of low budget horror. The almost silent
nature of their struggle is quite gripping, and the effects are menacing to
behold. This is dissolved almost immediately however, when we reach the Man being
comforted about his metamorphosis by his girlfriend and further still for the
last third, in which the two metal characters duke it out. By this point, you
feel you've seen way too much iron mutant fighting, and just wish you knew what
in the hell was going on. Less and less did it feel like a genre entry, and
more like a live action manga. I certainly wasn't disappointed by Tetsuo, but I
wish it could have maintained its earlier intensity.
Audition
(Takashi Miike) - B+
Having
become a widower young, Shigeharu Aoyama is talked into remarrying by his son.
A movie producer friend of his coerces him into making a documentary about the
process, and selecting his partner ahead of time. But before even meeting any
of the applicants, Aoyama falls for Asami Yamazaki. Behind his producer
friend's back, he starts seeing her, and when the movie is called off, Aoyama
decides to propose. But all is not sunshine and flowers. Asami has a dark, abuse-laden
past, and after Aoyama visits her sad little apartment and finds a man in a
sack missing parts of his body, he begins to have second thoughts. This results
in Asami paralyzing Aoyama with drugs, and starting fierce torture techniques
to show him the evil of his ways. All seems lost until Aoyama's son gets home,
and saves the day in a very unlikely fashion. Aoyama lives, but his heart is
broken.
The hype
surrounding Audition is that it is an immensely disturbing film. Certainly the
torture scene and reenacted child abuse scenes are intense, but even then, some
punches are pulled (Fulci would've considered Miike soft for not showing the
needles piercing Aoyama’s eyes). Given the subject matter, things could have
been much gorier and more violent. But the terror comes from the film's superb
atmosphere. From pretty much the get go, the audience (and Aoyama) are given some
pretty dire hints about Asami. Early on she is shown sitting in her bare,
dilapidated apartment, staring at her phone, waiting for Aoyama to call. You
spend most of the movie waiting for the hell that Asami is sure to bring, and
Aoyama’s investigation into her past suitably captures your attention. And by
being defeated in the manner she is, you realize Asami is not some inhuman
monster, she was just a vengeful soul, taking her misery out on the world that
wronged her.
Audition is
very enthralling. You're aware early that something very bad is going to happen
to Aoyama, and the path to that scene is both creepy and addictive. The camera
work is also wonderful, playing with natural angles of sets to create some
truly unique shots. At points the narrative did become somewhat disjointed,
however, and at points your only clue that you're no longer in current reality
will be something like soft blue light, or another similar subtle hint. This
can be confusing, especially in the finale, but ultimately, I'd say Audition is
worth its oft-received praise. The stylistic elements alone make it a film to
remember.
Noroi: the Curse (Koji Shiraishi) - C-
A paranormal
investigator named Kobayashi is filming a new documentary surrounding a case in
suburban Tokyo. This documentary, we are told, was the last he made, before his
house burned down with his wife inside. The documentary was never released, but
the audience mysteriously views it. Within the film is both Kobayashi's
investigation, which leads him to a rural district in Japan to investigate
folklore surrounding a river demon and seemingly unrelated (at first)
paranormal phenomena, involving characters who are later directly linked to Kobayashi's
story. People have a bad habit of dying either right before or right after
Kobayashi interviews them. Kobayashi eventually believes he has put the demon
to rest, and his film ends, but we are treated to viewing the events leading to
the destruction of his home, proving things weren't quite as finished as he'd
led us to believe.
Noroi is
found footage, pure and simple. While it presents itself in a format that isn't
strictly a single camera, all the usual tropes of this style of horror are
evident. Produced six years after the Blair Witch Project, Noroi has more in
common with the Last Broadcast, another faux documentary. While most of the
goings on in Noroi are fairly effective, the few times we are given a creepy
special effect to see, the filmmakers make a point of backtracking to show it
to us again (just in case you weren't paying attention, I guess). This felt kind of
forced. Perhaps this style of horror movie was too subtle for audiences back
then?
Most of the
performers don't seem the professional acting sort, which certainly assists in
adding authenticity to the proceedings. I would say, however, that the film
drags on a little long. So much time is spent early on showing weird events and
introducing ancillary characters, that getting to the largely predictable
ending is a rough ride. Several of the scenes featuring aluminum hat-clad Mr.
Hori feel especially repetitive and unnecessary. Overall, though, Noroi is a
polished piece of found footage horror. The scares aren't too heavy handed,
even if they back up and show you them again, and the finale pulls out all the
stops.
Thirst
(Chan-wook Park) - B+
Wanting to do
what he can to help, Father Sang-hyeon, a catholic priest, gives himself over
to scientific research in an attempt to stop the EV virus. At first, it seems
Sang-hyeon will succumb to a slow death like the others, but he miraculously
defeats the virus after a near death experience. Almost instantly, priest is
regarded as a faith healer, and no matter where he goes, he's hounded by those
that want his magic. In one such instance, he is asked to help a leukemia-ridden
young man. Arriving at his hospital bed, Sang-hyeon recognizes him as Kang-woo,
a friend from childhood. Kang-woo’s condition improves, but Sang-hyeon soon
discovers the secret to his own recovery from EV - he was given vampiric blood
during a transfusion, turning Sang-hyeon into one himself. Meanwhile, Kang-woo’s
family takes the Father in, where a dangerous romance blooms between himself
and Kang-woo’s wife, Tae-ju. This romance starts with Sang-hyeon acting as a
white knight, and saving Tae-ju from her otherwise terrible life, but once she
learns what Sang-hyeon truly is, she begins to manipulate him into wicked
deeds, up to and including her husband's murder. Finally, in a passionate
confrontation, Sang-hyeon turns Tae-ju into a vampire - a move he soon regrets
as she goes on a gluttonous killing spree. Eventually, Sang-hyeon has no choice
but to kill them both, and he strands himself and Tae-ju to await death by the
sun's first rays of dawn.
Thirst is
not a horror movie, rather, it attempts to humanize Sang-hyeon, who strives to
be a humane monster. Until he is seduced by Tae-Ju, he never takes a life when
feeding. Indeed, his ultimate sacrifice is done out of shame for creating a
true thing of evil via undead Tae-ju. In fact, the central theme of Thirst, I'd
hazard, is redemption. Sang-hyeon works harder than anyone to do good in the
world, even before his fatal transfusion, and after it, he tries even harder.
This is a story-driven narrative that doesn't really ever attempt to horrify or
scare. Instead, you are given gorgeous shot after gorgeous shot to look at,
even when all you're looking at is a stark, white hospital room. Indeed,
director Chan-wook Park never stops showing you the beauty of his world and
Thirst is truly a feast for the eyes.
If I had one
complaint about the film, it would be its pacing. A third of the film could
have easily been shaved off, without sacrificing much of the visuals or
narrative. But it’s a small complaint. Thirst is a great modern take on
the vampire. I'd cast it in the same light as
Let the Right One In and Midnight Son. Both are understated vampire stories
that deal largely with the relationships of human and vampire, rather than
treating it as just another monster movie. This is a trend that actually holds
hope for intelligent horror cinema, which is especially significant in the face
of crap like Twilight.
Cheerleader Camp (John Quinn) - C-
Allison and
her cheer team are off to a summer competition at Camp Huzzah. Things start off
in the usual manner - cheerleaders shame mascots, men ogle the cheerleaders,
and the favor of the judge must be secured - but when one of the girls turns up
dead, things take a dark turn. Before long, no one trusts anybody, and bodies
keep stacking up, despite the championship. Even when everything finally feels
safe, people still keep dying. Eventually Allison, and her trusty mascot
sidekick, Cory, must try and find the real killer before its too late.
Cheerleader
Camp is all but transparent as a slasher movie. As soon as the actual killer
shows up, its obvious they're the guilty party based on their back story. The film throws a lot of curve balls at you to try and throw you off, but the characters they try to pin
it on are too killer-y to be seriously considered. The gore effects are sparse,
and really only one gut-slashing scene is worth consideration for quality. A
lot of this was to save on costs - if your actor gets killed off camera, a lot
cheaper.
The charm
from Cheerleader Camp comes from its constant, witty dialogue. Not only are
there an astounding number of cheerleader puns, but one character (the
marked-for-death-upon-sight Timmy) constantly makes foreshadowing jokes about
his eventual fate. Given the rest of the fare present - predictable kills, lack
of plot, weird boobies - at least there's something to like. An oddball for
sure, Cheerleader Camp is fun, but forgettable.
------------
We have only a week worth of films left! And more than a few of them are gonna be gross! Somehow, I managed to save Two Thousand Maniacs, Salo AND Human Centipede all for the same week. How on Earth did THAT happen? Added to that are a classic, big budget 50s horror film (Curse of the Demon), a Vincent Price movie (Witchfinder General), and two lesser-known modern entries (Wolf Creek & Honeymoon). While it's nice not to have such a narrow focus for the last week, I wish I had something perhaps a little more iconic to watch for the 31st (so far, based purely on its notoriety, I think Human Centipede is likely to be my selection for Halloween).
See you on the 1st of November, gang!
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